Thursday, December 15, 2005

NOT4NOTHIN’S Holiday Season Etiquette Suggestions

'tis the season.

and as christmas day rapidly approaches, so does the stupidity of the people celebrating the season. so, here are a few of my observations that will hopefully add to the holiday season and bring peace on earth.

#1. DO NOT split up your party and have one person wait on one line while you wait on another to see who can get to the cashier the fastest. and then have that person cut into line with you, adding to the number of items you had.

#2. DO NOT wait until the cashier tells you your total to begin taking out all of your cash, credit cards or checks. and DO NOT remain at the cashier's once you have purchased all of your items putting all of your change back in the correct compartment of your change purse. ***APPLIES TO THOSE WHO ARE OF THE 65+ AGE GROUP***

#3. DO NOT wait until the days of saturday or sunday to do your shopping when you have 5 other days during the week to do it. there are those of us who work who have no other choice but the weekend to shop. ***APPLIES TO THOSE WHO ARE OF THE 65+ AGE GROUP***

#4. DO NOT bring the little hethens along with you to the store. i can say that as an adult i do not want to be in the malls during this time of year and i am sure 5 and 6-year-olds do not want to be there as well. and if you do so choose to bring the hethens along for the displeasure of holiday shopping, keep them close to you. having your hethens hanging off the door security is not pleasurable. and it is a bad sign when the person you are talking to on your cell asks, 'where the hell are you?' because they can hear your hethen having a tantrum. an even worse sign when it is your 80-year-old grandmother asking 'where the hell are you?'

#5. say 'please,' 'thank you,' and 'happy holidays' to those working in the stores you are shopping at. it is not their fault that you waited until the last minute to shop and the store no longer has the size, color or item you were looking for. they are just trying to get through the work day like everyone else. DO NOT yell at them. they don't come to your office and scream in your face for not getting that report out on time. be respectful.

#1. DO NOT stop in the middle of a lane of cars to drop someone off in front of the store. if you can walk your lazy a$$ around the store to shop you can walk your lazy a$$ to the store to shop.

#2. DO NOT block intersections with your gas-guzzling SUV. blocking intersections causes a stand-still and gridlock for everyone trying to pass. what are we supposed to do? go over you. although i'd love to go through you, it's not possible.

#3. DO not walk down the middle of the aisle to get back to your car. you wouldn't walk down the middle of the street, so why do it in a parking lot??? cause i will run your a$$ over.

#4. DO NOT rest your hand on your horn. there is nothing wrong with giving the a$$hole in front of you a friendly little toot.


#1. remember to ALWAYS count your blessings cause there are others out there who are always less fortunate than you are.



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