Friday, November 18, 2005


this morning, while getting ready for work, i had the radio on. there was a morning show on the station my stereo was programmed to. on the program was the owner of the restaurant 'a taste of heaven' (hello to a little bit of free advertising) which is located in chicago. from what i gathered this is a family restaurant but not a 'family' restaurant in the way chucky cheese is a 'family' restaurant. anyway, the owner posted a sign reminding the restaurant's patrons that if you are entering with children to please keep their noise volume down and remember that there are other people dining as well. of course, it did not take long for some up-tight mother (who probably lives in the suburbs of chicago and only comes into the big, bad city for a night on the town twice a year) to react negatively to the sign and organize a boycott of 'a taste of heaven' (free advertising yet again).

let me start off by saying MAJOR PROPS to the owner of 'a taste of heaven!!!!' put those little fcuking heathens in their place. it is your restaurant which should be run how you see accordingly. you also have an obligation to the 'childless' patrons who come to your restaurant to dine and ensure that their experience is pleasurable. not to mention the obligation to your staff working at the restaurant and providing them with an appropriate environment in which they can perform their tasks which you have outlined and expect of them.

i am 28-years-old and childless. and i plan to remain that way forever. that's right...forever 28 and forever childless. there are times when i do not think that children should even be allowed out in public. speaking for myself, when i go out to a restaurant the last thing i want to see is some 5-year-old running up and down the aisles screaming at the top of his or her lungs with arms moving all over the place. i go out to escape the ins and outs of my day, not to mention the fact of celebrating that i am childless. i honestly believe that children should not be allowed at any function or place in which alcohol is being served. and if that is the case and should that law ever get passed, i would walk around with a beer can sewn into my hand.

i don't know about anyone else out there but when i was a child, i constantly lived in fear of what awaited me back at home if i embarassed my parents in any way, shape or form when in public. if i even ever had the balls to 'act up' in public i would get 'the look' which told me my a$$ would be bright red the minute i stepped foot into the house. if my parents would so much as come within 10 feet of the draw where the wooden spoon was kept and i was in tears. i have said before that as a child, i spent more time between my grandmother's legs than my grandfather. i was no fool. i knew where to go if i had actually mustered up the courage to act out.

and speaking as a former waiter who put myself through college and grad school doing ain't easy serving a table with occupants who can't keep their a$$es in the seats. i don't come into your place of employment and cause problems so don't come into mine (or into current waiters and waitresses, since i am no longer one) and cause destruction for them. and what happens if your little heathen gets in someone's way and a plate or bowl of hot food spills on your child? who is going to get sued? the restaurant of course. it is not fair to those who are trying to do their job to have to side-step around your little heathens who cannot control themselves and know how to behave in public. i always gladly gave up tables with any occupants under the age of 16. the $2 you'd leave me on the bill no matter how high was not worth what awaited me had i served you. and it was better for the life of your little heathen that i not be your waiter anyway. they got to see the beginning of another day.

now, don't get me wrong. i realize there are those children out there who you would never even know they are around. MAJOR PROPS to them for good behavior and to the parents who take the time to disipline their children properly. newsflash to the parents who don't...throwing your disruptive child in front of the television or putting a video game control pad into their hands does not make the problem go away. if i am paying $50 for a dining experience or $200 for a seat on a plane, i do not expect to be bothered by someone else's result of not using a condom.

i am childless because i choose to be. call me selfish, but i enjoy spending my $ on me. i enjoy going out on a minutes notice. i enjoy staying out until 3 in the morning. and call me crazy, but i enjoy (but not really) spending my $ on paying back my school loans.

and for all the parents out there who are saying, 'but i want a night out too.' great, i am sure you do. if i had little heathens at home, i'd want to leave as well. and probably never come back. but that is why teenage girls invented the part-time job of babysitting. and if you have children who cannot act properly when in public, i suggest you use them. treat them as the 'babies' they are acting like and get them BABYsitters. the name is in the job title.


Blogger Farrah said...

There was an article on the NYT about this and I totally agree. If your children can't behave then you shouldn't drag them to restaurants and cafes where people are trying to relax. And for those parents that complain about it: you shouldn't have had kids if you wanted to maintain the exact lifestyle you had pre-kids. You have make sacrifices for your children and it was your decision. So keep your kicking and screaming brat out of my face. Ahh, I am SO maternal.

12:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I agree with you and can relate...of course keep in mind these are the same parents who go to the theatre and chat through it as though they were sitting in their living room watching cable or DVD or whatever. Bottom line is that as a society we have lost respect for one another, and God forbid if you actually say something you're in the wrong. I however have on occasion said to a child running up and down all over the place to behave and "go find your parents." Some parents need to be pulled in, others just don't get it.

I am not a fan of "Time Out" I find it annoying and useless. Sometimes a single slap is not a bad idea.

1:34 PM  
Blogger Cheetarah1980 said...

This is why I am a firm believer in spanking children. My parents did it to me and I turned out just fine. Children today have way too much power over their parents and think it's acceptable to act any kind of way in public. If parents can't raise their children right, why should I have to suffer because of it? I couldn't agree with your feelings more. Even though I want kids one day, I refuse to let them run around like a bunch of banshees. I will tan their hides if the thought even crosses their minds.

11:00 AM  
Blogger MTG said...

The last time I had my crew out all 14 of them (i am granny) the waitress remarked at how well behaved and polite they were. My youngest dryly remarked:

They like breathing.

12:46 PM  

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