What's Your Costume?

there were two things that happened this weekend which were completely seperate from one another, but the more i thought about them realized that they were one in the same.

today is halloween. the one day out of the year in which we choose to dress up in a complete disguise and possibly be or act like someone we wish we had the balls to be. we completely abandon our actual reality and play make believe for a few hours. the boyfriend and i attended a massive halloween bash saturday night. anyone who is anyone gets invited and a no-show or decline in the invitation is a sure fire way to be d-listed the following year. like any other party, but this one in particular considering the whole halloween premise, entry to the party put you on immediate display to the other attendees. now keep in mind, this was a predominantly gay-attended and gay-hosted party. with that being said and laid out on the table, my mind was in awe at some the costumes. there were your traditional guys dressed as women, pirates, criminals and priests (this was a gay party after all). what i didn't understand were the half-naked costumes. there were half-naked cowboys, half-naked surgeons and even half-naked 'desperate housewives.' put the tongues back in your mouths breeders, they were men. i thought that some of the guys just got diverted from a usual saturday night out at the local club. now i am sorry, but never did i have a history book in grade school that pictured a half-naked cowboy. maybe if they were, we wouldn't have had that nasty dispute with the indians. and if surgeons really were half-naked don't you think that the hospital would be more of a happier place to be? i mean come on, i watch 'desperate housewives' faithfully every sunday. and never once have i seen terri hatcher flashing her titties. but come to think of it, maybe if she did she would have sealed an emmy win.

to me, it seemed like these people were looking for any excuse to be half-naked and wave their gay flags with pride. on a night in which you could step out of character and completely be something you are not, i wonder just what these people are really hiding. is it an insecurity that each one of them has? do they honestly think that its a person's body which is the main selling point when looking for the ideal partner? and i'd have to say that i am almost certain that each one of these people who were half-naked are in fact, single. and the other thing i noticed was that the age of these half-naked people were either early 20s or mid-to-late 40s. am i to assume that the late 20-year-olds to mid-40-year-olds are not only more secure in their relationships, but more secure with themselves? i will admit that my early 20s were all about walking into a scenario and being the center of attention. but as i matured, blending into the background became more appealing. but come to think about it, if it weren't for those who crave attention, who would the rest of us talk about all night?

i spoke with a good friend, who i have known since college, on the phone yesterday. after telling me about her latest love triangle, she admitted that she is ready to have something more. someone who stays the entire day and doesn't leave first thing in the morning. she wants someone with more than just a body, she wants some substance.

i told her that in my experience, i have found relationships when i was not looking. but, there is another part to that piece of the puzzle. i believe that there is someone out there for everyone on this planet. however, i also believe that there is a very good chance that you may not find that person. once you have accepted that fact and are comfortable with the possability of living life on your own, there is a new found confidence a person takes on. and in return, a brand new group of people will find themselves wanting to be in your presence. this is a confidence that you yourself may not recognize but those around you will. and those are in fact, the people that one would want to surround themselves with.

so, here's hoping that all of those who are hiding behind something they really aren't will find the confidence within the next year and cover up for next years parties.