Wednesday, September 21, 2005

The One

in a world filled with millions of people, is it no wonder that there are so many people who are single? more than one person has told me that relationships are by far, the hardest thing they had ever been a part of. cause if they were easy, 'life as a single' would be next to non-existant. the more i think about how hard relationships are, the more i tend to agree with it. which is probably why, i was never really good at them and often found myself on my own.

i have seen friends and family get married, maybe have some kids and end up getting divorced. maybe even get remarried down the road. i have also seen friends and family go on date after date and never find what they were looking for. as a whole, are people just getting too picky and bringing on the single life themselves? in a world filled with freaks, psychos, liars and celebrities who rush down the altar to end up seeking annullments, i would hope that people are getting more picky with who they date and eventually end up spending the rest of their life with.

it has been an observation of mine that humans are one of the few species who rely on monogamy. some argue that it is human instinct to sew your royal oats and pillage and conquer as many people as possible when it comes to the bedroom. ideas about this topic have changed drastically with the progression of generations. i believe (and would hope) that my grandparents were in love with one another at one time. but from what i remember growing up as a kid, their constant arguing and yelling back and forth would lead me to believe otherwise. it has actually crossed my mind that they only stayed together for convenience and because that generation just did not get divorced. it was not an option and caused quiet the scandal if it did in fact happen.

in the past, i have seen nothing wrong with playing the field, weighing your options and looking at both the positives and negatives of a person. and while doing this, i have never seen anything wrong with sleeping with multiple people. seperately or at the same time, as long as two things were taken into account. the first being that the person always played safely and the second being that all parties involved were aware of the situation and no surprises popped up in the future. so, with that being the case, why do so many people feel that people who do this are tramps, sluts, whores or players? and it is by far worse for women to behave this way rather than a man. a man is viewed as verile and strong with a 'high number.' while a woman with a 'high number' is cutting her chances of marriage in half. i have to ask, who the fcuk gives others the right to judge anyone else and how they live? and what makes a person who is one half of a couple better than a person who is single? being single is not a disease, it won't rub off if you stand too close.

i think that many people are 'in love with the idea of being in love.' i have fallen victim to this. having a partner who is obsessive, selfish, dependent on you or the relationship is based strictly on sex is not love. i can honestly say, that for the first time in my 28-year existence, i have found true love. and i know that the boyfriend reads this blog on occassion, so i will spare the intimate details of how great the sex is in the hopes of his head not swelling too much.

in all seriousness, the true love of another person is shown multiple times in a given day. knowing that person is always there, at your finest moments and at the ones you wish you could erase, is true love. true love is looking you in the face, after having an extremely rough, beaten-up day at your job and pinky-swearing that he supports whatever you decide to do and promises to not disappear from the picture. true love is insisting that you put your clothes back on after crawling into your i'm-down-in-the-dumbs-pajamas and taking you out for showtunes tuesday at your local gay bar because he knows it is a 100% guarantee that it will put a smile on your face.

that is true love and not just the idea of being in love with the idea of being in love. not only do i feel true love in return for my boyfriend, but i also feel truly lucky to have found him. and i plan on holding tight whatever come what may.

"i'll never let go." don't worry, he'll get the reference. :)


Blogger Farrah said...

Wow. I don't know whether to me jealous, nauseous or really happy for you. I guess I'll be nice and go with the last one. :)

9:32 AM  
Blogger The Foxybrown Show said...

What an amazing entry...You have the show standing on it's feet applauding you...I have added you to my favorites

Keep doing the damn thing...Oh and
Welcome to the show!

10:13 AM  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

I saw Chris Rock's HBO special and he really riffed on and ripped apart marriage. He said we've all got a choice, either we can be married and bored or single and alone, and how usually the most exciting relationships are usually the worst for us.

Marriage isn't the be all and end all. From that day forward, every decision to sexual frequency to what color should we paint the bathroom will always rely upon a committee of two. Honestly, I don't know how my husband thinks I survived without him.

2:07 PM  

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