Friday, June 24, 2005

Silenced No More

i don't want to seem like a follower, poser, copycat or person who is trailing steps behind everyone else. i have tried to remain non-judgemental, but i can keep silent no longer. tom cruise. you're a fcuking idiot. not a jerk, a fcuking idiot. there we go, it's out in the open. i feel better now.

from the very first minute i heard you were dating katie holmes i thought 'publicity stunt.' i have not given in and viewed your love-induced antics on 'oprah' or analyzed the squirting incident (which i must now say kudos to the pranksters). i did however, watch 'letterman' last night to see for myself just how much of an ass you are making of yourself. boy, you didn't disappoint one bit.

when someone over-reacts or over-exaggerates their body language, they are usually hiding something. the over-the-top-laughing an clapping of your hands not only showed how uncomfortable you are but also stalled on time for you to think of an answer. honestly, i do not care how much of a fabulous woman 'kate' is or hear the details of your planned-out-engagement story over and over again. i mean come on. first of all, she is not old enough or experienced enough in her short amount of time on this planet to be a fabulous woman. she's still a kid. and the eiffel tower thing. which one of your publicists planned that one out? i'm guessing the same one who cooked up the love that rosie o'donnell apparently has for you in the hopes of making america believe she sucks dick as opposed to licking carpet. if i were dakaota fanning at the paris premiere and you stole the spotlight out from under my 12-year-old ass, i would have outted you right there and then.

i must say tom, you're really starting to piss me off. you're not that great of an actor. you never were. and since your last few movies have flopped without the help of ms. holmes, soon to be mrs. holmes-cruise, i could see why you and your people might resort to this. a publicity stunt to overshadow the fact that you might have another hollywood flop on your hands with the potential of becoming a 'straight to video' actor. i know i am not going to go see your movie for the simple fact that you are really starting to piss me off. there are starving and sick people all over the world and all i hear about lately is how much you love someone ypu have known for 8 weeks. i have had headaches that have lasted longer than that.

and speaking of straight. come on katie. did you honestly think that becoming the latest beard would really help your career? you're little joey from 'dawson.' i always cheered for you to end up with dawson or pacey, not their fathers. in the end, you'll just look like the latest fool this closet case convinced would be the next biggest star by being his wife.

and let me tell ya one last thing. this whole 'relationship' speaks volumes for the sanctity of marriage, love and being straight. if this is the case, you could pretend to stay on that side tom cause we wouldn't want you over here. most of us are proud of who and what we are. we wouldn't want you bringing us down.

4 Comments:

Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

An attempt at an injection of levity:


http://www.davidfeldmancomedy.com/archives/lron.gif

http://www.funnyhub.com/videos/page.cgi/dane-cook-spoofs-cruise (Seriously funny--be sure to have your audio on, but not too loud)

http://mirror.randomfoo.net/memes/2005/06/Tom_Cruise_Kills_Oprah.mov


At the very least, sanctity or not, we can have a few laughs at his expense.

7:27 AM  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

PS: If you can't open up the funnyhub one, you can go to http://www.danecook.com/ and click audio/video and go to the 5/27 Kimmel show appearance and see it there.

Glad you loved them. I'll be sure to forward some new stuff as it presents itself to me.

12:59 PM  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

Oh god... check out my blog. I just posted something you might find interesting on this topic.

7:55 PM  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

www.tomcruiseisnuts.com

8:44 AM  

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