Wednesday, May 18, 2005

I Don't Get It, I Don't Get It.

i've said it once and i'll say it again. there are many things in this world that i just do not understand. i don't understand how a thermus can keep things both hot and cold. i don't understand how the body can remember to keep breathing when you fall asleep and are no longer conscious. i don't understand why compact discs have that security sticker on 3 of the 4 sides when wrapped in plastic anyway. i don't understand just how stupid, inconsiderate and unreliable people can really be. but the one thing i really don't understand is why things happen to certain people and not others. hunh?! let me explain.

as i write this, i have a second cousin back home floating back and forth between consciousness and unconsciousness while laying in a hospice. she is only 56 and will be leaving behind a husband and daughter. from what i have been told (because i was too young to remember) when she was 25 she had breast cancer. she had a massectomy and was clean for another 25 years. fcuking 25 years after all was said and done, the cancer returned and brought along with it MS. it would appear that after six years of battling, my cousin's fight is coming to an end. and i want to know why.

here is a woman who did not have a single mean bone in her body and cared for and watched both of her parents deteriorate into nothing. her mother (my great aunt) was a royal be-otch and was the one who caused the family drama, arguements and tension. being the traditional italian family we are, several family members cut off my aunt, her off-spring and her off-spring's off-spring. everyone that is, except my grandmother. who happens to be the most compassionate person i have ever met. unfortunately, my cousin suffered for her mother's shortcomings. as she lay in the hospice, i wonder who in my family knows of her current condition and who in the family cares? when all is said and done, family is still family. and why should my cousin be punished in her extreme time of need because of arguements, feelings and battles among the previous generation? and i ask again, why did someone who did not have a mean bone in her body be dealt this hand of cards to play?

i am not one who wishes anything bad on anyone. well, i try not to. but there are murderers, child molesters, drug dealers and rapists running free or in jail who end up dying of natural causes. people who are bitter and rotten to the core who end up expiring in their sleep one night at the ripe old age of 98. why should a compassionate 56-year-old have a life that ends so soon and in this painful, deteriorating, shameful manner?

switching gears...another thing i don't understand is how some people, again who are rotten to the core, have the ability to step in sh*t each and every time when it comes to events in their life. there is one person in particular who i am referring to. this person complains about everything in life...professional situation, personal situation, financial situation, etc. yet, this bitter, pathetic excuse of a person does not realize how good they have had it. somehow, this person has never really suffered when it comes to the professional life. again, manages to always step in sh*t. ever since graduation. unlike myself and many of my friends, this bitter, pathetic excuse of a person has never been unemployed for a long period of time or has really known what it is like to do hard labor. physical circumstances, we'll call them, would never allow this bitter, pathetic excuse of a person to be on their feet for very long anyway.

i just don't understand why things happen to certain people. how, where and when are the giant horseshoes which are shoved up some people's asses handed out? if anyone knows, please share that information with me. i'll be one of the first in line dropping trow and bending over. and that's not something which happens very often. just ask the current person i am dating.


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