Tuesday, June 28, 2005

And They Wonder Why

across most of the country, this past weekend was pride weekend. so, most cities have a parade, concerts and festivities to wrap up the month of june which is gay pride month. i've experienced and participated in several pride weekends in different cities across the country. and this year was no exception. if it wasn't for the boyfriend, who was up at the crack of dawn nagging me to get ready to go, i would have passed this year.


because at this point in my life, festivities like that are kind of tiresome. aside from the fact that it was 98 degrees with 100% humidity. and it is festivites such as this one in which you are lucky enough to stumble upon every single stereotype out there.

let's see. there were the lesbians on motorcycles reving their engines to suppliment the fact that they do not have a penis. there were the bears all decked out in leather harnesses and pants despite the 98 degree 100% humidity weather. there were the much older guys leading the way for their much-younger-looking-for-a-sugardaddy-boyfriends. the men and women who had their shirts off when they shouldn't even be naked in the dark. the clothed older men cruising every single 20-something who crossed their path. the men who are 2 steps away from becoming women. the women who were 2 steps away from becoming men. the women who looked like they could beat the sh*t out of some of the men there. the political booths set up saying they show their support for the community to ensure your vote and forget about you once they are in office. the young gays in high school and college who seemed particularly angry this year. and of course, my favorite...the people who are nice to you to your face and curse the day you were born behind your back. that's right, every stereotype, all under on roof.

as i walked through pride yesterday, wearing a tank top (remember, it was 98 degrees with 100% humidity), holding my boyfriend's hand (i am extremely proud of him and our relationship), i thought back to my very first exposure to the gay communtiy. i was a 16-year-old high school kid working part-time in a gym. there was an older gentleman who was a member there. we spoke on a few occassions and had a friendly banter between us. one evening, we began talking. he asked if we were friends. i said 'sure' and then came the question. he asked if he gave me $100 if i would perform a certain oral duty for him. after realizing this gynocologist (talk about not being into your work) had just sexually propositioned me, i kindly refused. it was around prom time and i could have used the extra money. not to mention that i feel like i am worth much more than $100. there was no way this was going to take place. from that day on, i made it very clear that this pervert was not to come anywhere near me.

now, i knew i was gay when this incident happened. but from that moment, i vowed that i would never become that type of gay person or fall into any stereotype that reflected this older gentleman. and i think i have done a pretty good job. now, don't get me wrong. i am extremely proud of who and what i am. i have all types of friends and do not judge others by any means. i do not prance around advertising who i sleep with. yes, i go out and have a good time, but i do not do drugs or blow anyone in the bathroom stall (thank you 'queer as folk'). and i have never had an open relationship (again, thank you 'qaf'). i like to think of myself as your average 28-year-old male. who happens to have a boyfriend.

just like the family member who you never see, the neighbors who live in 'that' house or the co-worker who mysteriously climbed his or her way up the corporate ladder rather quickly, every community has someone that does not do them justice. the only thing i ask is that the world out there not base or judge everyone on a lone few.


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