Thursday, May 05, 2005

Make a Wish and Blow

today is cinco de mayo, but it is also the 30th birthday of the one person who managed to break my heart into a million tiny, little pieces. so, instead of saying 'happy birthday' i am going to say 'thank you.' and the reason for my thanks will hopefully become evident by the end of this post. at first glance, it may come across as a bitter, vengeful attack, and maybe it is, but i got some things to get off my chest.

first of all, i am willing to bet that instead of celebrating himself and the fact that this is 'his day' and he has made it another year, that he is acting all melodramatic and depressed that he is now 30 and'old.' and you know what honey? for a fag, you are getting old. so, my suggestion would be this. stop ending up on your back for everyone who buys you a drink and start getting serious. down the road, no one wants a used up ho who has practically slept with everyone in a major city. now i understand why everyone gave me looks when you'd introduce me as your boyfriend. after the shock of you settling down hit them, it was because you were tricking with them not so long ago. and that happened everywhere we would go...the mall, the movies, the gym and even out for ice cream. nice to know that my partner has been around the block and then some. must be an unsettling feeling to know you may have run out of men to sleep with and may have to go back to women because of that.

are you getting fat and putting on weight? i used to tell you what you wanted to hear because i am no idiot. i know all about relationship ettiquette. and who needs the drama of telling the truth? but now that i can say it, yes. you have love handles and no chest at all. your ass has always looked fabulous. but then again, could be from all the play it's seen. word of advice. you might want to slow down or do some squats to tighten it up a bit. you're good in bed, i'll give ya that. but, makes achieving an orgasim harder when it feels like i am fcuking nothing due to its ability to stretch oh so much. so, put the malibu and diets down and hit the gym to do some squats, lunges and bench pressing.

and finally, ditch the catty, bitchy group of queens you hang with. you've all slept together already, so where is the excitement, mystery and sense of adventure? and let's be honest any group whose motto is 'you're business is our business' is really not worth knowing, but only gives in to the stereotypical associations of what gay people are. they are an impossible group to get to know or like because one never knows just how much they can be trusted and what they will use against you in the future. they were the downfall with us and i am sure many in the future. who knows, maybe you'll end up with one of them. some of the best relationships are supposed to come from those built on friendship first. thought that was the case with us. boy, was i wrong. knowing that much about you definately made it harder.

so, instead of wishing you a happy birthday i want to say thank you. thank you for ending our relationship. thank you for lying to me, for breaking my heart and for throwing away 2 and a half years of friendship. you woke my a** up. i admit, i did my whoring around after our relationship ended. i calculated it as making up for lost time. thank you for making me say that i would never let someone treat me that way again and for turning around and treating others like crap. i had to go through that to all of a sudden meet someone who stopped me dead in my tracks. to meet someone who respects me, treats me like a gentleman, appreciates me for what and who i am and takes me into consideration with everything he does. pretty much treats me like his partner, his equal. and who has really cool friends who respect one another.

so, i would be willing to bet that you'll go out tonight with your friends, get drunk and either wake up tomorrow with a complete stranger or by yourself. i, on the other hand, will wake up knowing that i have someone awesome in my life who seems to really like me. and is really hot, both on the inside and outside.


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