Monday, April 18, 2005

Morning Coffee with a Side of Tit

those who know me, know that i love coffee. it is something in life that i simply cannot live without. if possible, i'd have my med-school friend permanently install an i.v. into my arm. and i hate needles, but somehow it seems worth it.

those who know me also know not to speak to me or try to involve me in some sort of deep conversation until at least my second cup of the day has kicked in and the caffine is pulsing through my veins. it is like my oxygen. for me, there is no greater pleasure in life (well, i can think of at least one other) then when that first drop of hot, steaming caffine hits my lips, enters into my mouth and travels down the back of my throat. getting that first sniff as the coffee bag opens and the aroma from the beans makes its way out. seeing the beans grind into what will soon be my own little cup of heaven. 8 cups of heaven to be exact. the smell of the coffee brewing or the sound of beans grinding have woken me out of a deep, deep sleep before. it becomes a situation of an animal stalking its prey of the day. even if the coffee is not for me, my caffine radar gets sent into overdrive.

the one thing i love more than coffee itself is that first cup of the day. waking up, that crusty stuff still in the corners of my eyes. all worth it once i pour that first cup. and the quiet that accompanies it is worth it. stumbling around with my favorite mug in hand, steam rising from the top. doesn't get much better. financial, social and work stresses are all gone until the last drop empties out of the cup.

last week, i was in portland, oregon for the week on business. portland...the home of independent coffee shops on every corner. a small part of me felt that i had died and gone to heaven. on friday, i had some time to myself before my day began. so, i figured i'd venture out and do some more exploring. it was still early, so i figured now was as good a time as any to get my morning coffee. thought i'd sample one of the numberous independent shops and stir clear of the evil corporate starbucks. i figured, you know, when in portland.

i decided on one, because of the highly overdone italian theme. went in, got a little something berry-ish to eat and was handed my soup bowl of coffee. spotted a little table off in the corner and made my way over. thought it couldn't get any better...rain falling outside (this was portland after all), by myself, all is quiet. sweet. until they approached.

a woman asked if she minded that she and her infant sit at the available table next to me. not liking children at all, i said it'd be fine. the child was sound asleep and looked like he or she would be for quite a while. hell, i'd curl up and go back to sleep if there was enough room under the table. the woman sat down next to me. not a big deal yet.

i was half way through my berry-ish pastry and only about 2 sips into my coffee when the woman woke her child. 'no!!! what are you doing?' is what screamed through my head. waking it up gives it the possability of becoming loud and noisy. almost makes it human. take a long, third sip and all will be ok. or so i thought. my third sip was not even to the back of my throat when the woman's breast came out and the baby was hooked on like one of those suction cups with garfield on at the other end, hanging in a car window. 'oh my god!!!' what are you doing?'

i don't know how things work on the west coast, but come on. i am barely three sips into my coffee. and since when is public feedings of toddlers allowed in places that serve food? or my morning coffee for that matter? i know that i could have simply brewed a pot in the privacy of my own room, but i thought i'd help support the oregon economy. see the sights and report back to anyone interested in visiting. boy, did i see the sights. more portland sights than i had expected. drape a blanket over it for pete's sake. i understand that things work differently out on the west coast, the way of life is a lot more laid back and go with the flow. i'm sorry, but i could not go with this flow. maybe if i had gotten that third sip in first, things would have been different.

i am happy to report, that there have been 3 first cups of morning coffee since the reported incident and no awful side affects or flashbacks.

2 Comments:

Blogger Shark-fu said...

I was going to say something about free milk and the perfect cup of joe, but this might be a family friendly site........

Honey, I am so against public feedings. It's disturbing and feel free next time to tell her to put that titty back up in it's holder!

12:59 PM  
Blogger Crystal-Lynn said...

Tits are here to stay. I wanna lactate! Will you give me a child? A mocha latte babe? We can feed Tariq in Starbucks while you drink coffee. No? Fine ... i'll seek sperm in the analytics dept. Got your message ... no cally back b/c it's time for my bath.

7:22 PM  

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