Tinseltown Theories

well last night hollywood played host to the 'gay oscars' or what is also know as the academy awards. i have watched faithfully year after year, dragging friends with me to theatres in an effort to cross each best picture nomination of my list of movies to see. i have attended parties where there was in fact a red carpet leading up to the house to parties that were thrown together the hour before the show was starting. in my years of watching the gay oscars, i have formulated some theories about who will walk home with the golden statue. and last night my theory proved true in both the lead actor and actress catagories.

here it is. not4nothin's 100%-bon-a-fide way you could win an oscar as opposed to a razzie. first factor in winning an oscar...be sure to chose a role in which you play a real life person. it does not matter whether they are currently living or dead. as long as they once roamed this earth. second factor in winning an oscar...play a person living or dead who had some sort of diability whether it be mental, physical or emotional. and the final factor in quaranting an oscar win...alter your own personal look. that would include gaining 100 pounds, putting on a fake nose or adding a third eye to your forehead. think about it...jamie fox playing ray charles, charlize theron playing that femail serial killer, nicole kidman playing virginia wolff. the list goes on.

one of last nights winners...philip seymour hoffman. played real life author truman capote. hoffman had to alter his voice. and one would argue that capote's disability would be that he was gay. last nights other winner...reese witherspoon. played real life entertainer june carter cash. witherspoon did her own singing and one could say her disability was her own husband, johnny, was he was under the influence for so many years.

i don't have much to say about hoffman's win other than the fact that i am so glad the man shaved his face and ran a comb through his hair. he was really good in this role. i knew nothing about truman capote walking into the movie and immediately purchased 'in cold blood' after leaving the theatre. hoffman has paid his dues both on the big screen and along the great white way. so, truly happy for him.

i do have some to say about ms. witherspoon's win. and i should start off by saying that i do like her a lot. i mean, come on, who wouldn't want to see little elle woods do well in her career? the little southern belle from tennessee is all grown up now. and come to think of it, considering it is a southern state, tennessee has produced some beautiful looking people. justin, anyone? anyway. i like reese. i actaully envy her a little. she herself is hot and look at who she gets to sleep next to each night. BUT. this was not an oscar-winning performance. without phoenix's performance as johnny cash, reese would have nothing. she was cute, she did her own singing and has come a loooong way from cross examining someone about their perm while wearing a hot pink business suit.

in my opinion, a performace that was oscar worthy, VERY oscar worthy was felicity huffman in 'transamerica.' here is a woman playing a man who is two steps away form becomming a woman. between the make-up leaving a hard looking face to the wardrobe to her posture to the altering of her voice, this was an oscar winning performance. there were many times when watching this movie that i forgot it was actually a woman in this role. and i am not talking julie andrews in 'victor/victoria.' this was a role that brought a real issue in mainstream america to the forefront. it was not a person dressing up as the opposite sex for sheer entertainment. and that alone deserves some recognition. felicity, you would have gotten my vote girl.

and i am sure all the queens spanning from south beach to west hollywood were all a flutter and felt they were being pushed back into the closet when 'brokeback' did not win for best picture. there is a really good reason for this. really, there is. IT SUCKED!!! i have said it once and i will say it again...it was nothing but 'romeo & juliet' except with two men this time. i will say this though after hearng many peoples reaction to the movie. it is ultimately a story which everyone can relate to. it is a story about love and no matter how old we are, what color our skin is or who we chose to share our bed with love is something that we all have in common.

i do think that 'crash' winning for best picture is a huge statement being made by some of the most powerful people in this country...the academy. this movie deals with some serious issues. and i applaude the fact that a large majority of this nation's population acknowledges the fact that many of the issues dealt with in this movie still unfortunately exist in 2006 (too bad they did't think the same when re-electing the current a$$hole running the country). and until we meet them head on and face them, they will not just magically disappear.

that last statement makes me wonder and question why it sometimes takes the world of tinseltown to point out and raise issues that remain in our society. issues that are stare us directly in the face. and sometimes make these problems seem alright. there have been gay cowboys for decades, racism for as long as i can remember and people struggling with their own sexual identity. so why now in 2005/6 are all of these issues being brought to the surface? could one argue that is america's handicap and we are all well on our way to receiving a gold statue?