Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Why Does A Dog Lick Itself?

because it can. and apparently, that is the answer often given as to why men are scum, why they are selfish, why they can be stupid and why they cheat.

the latest round of celebrity gossip is that this year's sexiest man alive cheated on his fiance and got caught. or i should say, got exposed. regardless of male or female, do celebrities honestly think that what they do and don't do will not get public acknowledgement? ms. whitney can't even go into a steamroom without some fan running after her. and that is just someone trying to relax or come down from their latest high. but sticking a part of yourself into a part of someone else is not going to remain under wraps for very long. that is, unless you are a certain closeted movie star who makes his beards sign mountains of paperwork not exposing him after the publicity stunt is over 9 years later. or when you were in 7 movies at once last christmas season.

let me start off by saying props to the nanny. i honestly think i need to change careers. if we look at nannies past, they always seem to be causing some sort of controversy and making headlines. he is hot. but, none-the-less a downright dirty dawg. and look at where its left his 20-something, naive, embarrassed fiance.

i am not one to judge. i have been on more than one side of this situation. i have never cheated on anyone i have been romantically involved with. let me clarify that. i have never cheated on anyone i had a spoken, understood commitment with. i have, however, been cheated on and been the 'other' person. neither are fun. i was cheated on back in college because i wouldn't sleep with the guy i was dating. truth of the matter is that his privates were so small, i probably would not have felt anything anyway. can we say scared turtle?!?! if only he could have seen me up until about a year ago or so. and i was the other person right after i graduated college. the story is cliche. older person. unhappy in his relationship. they hadn't had sex in years. blah, blah, blah. all that could be classified as is a time in which i ate pretty well, had some fun in the bedroom, lived out a little scandal, but always got disappointed at the very last minute and found myself alone. i chalk that up to the pre-25 years in which anything that happened during that time doesn't count.

humans are the only species that i know of who preach and practice monogomy. once decided, one mate for the rest of your life. and it seems to me, that couples are getting married younger and younger these days. so, why should it come as a surprise to anyone that people cheat? it's probably because they haven't lived life and experienced what it has to offer. they lock themselves into one person before meeting the person who will fcuk them in every position possible.

for me, that is no excuse. once you have committed to someone, they are it. i don't think that it is the act of cheating that is the worst. it is the act of making the other person look like a complete and total a**hole in trusting your dirty dawg a**. that is more devastating than having your heart broken into a million tiny little pieces.

cheating also boils down to maturity and respect. and i think that repect comes once maturity has developed. anyone who cheats is not mature enough to acknowledge that they have made a mistake and are not currently happy. apparently, sneaking around in secrecy is a happier place to be. and if someone is not mature enough to handle a full-fledged relationship, drop em. who needs them? they will eventually be left alone once the 'survival of the fittest' in the relationship department has weeded them out.

and those who stay with the cheaters and give them another chance. dumb a**. dumb a**. dumb a**. we all do things which we know are wrong. people still smoke cigarettes. drink and drive. have unprotected sex. and unfortunately, cheat. my advice. take the ring and cash it out. take being known as the person who got cheated on into being known as the person who cashed in and made bank.


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