Wednesday, September 20, 2006

The Universal Language of Bad Parenting

for those of you who know not4nothin well know that i do not enjoy anyone who is restricted to a liquid diet for a year, is unable to clean themselves up after taking a dump, cannot dress themselves, is under 4 feet tall or requires an afternoon nap. although it would seem that i am describing my grandparents, i am actually referring to children. the little rugrats who can't fend for themselves and run wild on the streets.

many find it humorous that not4nothin moved into an apartment that is located directly across the street from an elementary school. since moving into the apartment in june it really made no difference to me that a school was located directly across the street. that is, until i returned from my parisian vacation and discovered that school was back in session. now monday thru friday i have the pleasure of walking to the subway on my way to work and pass by all the little kiddies as they wait to enter the school. i find it amusing that a path often appears as my foot hits the sidewalk in order for me to pass. like animals, children can sense evil. i am waiting for the day when i make it to the subway station and discover a 'kick me' sign pinned to my coach briefcase.

at work, i share an office with not one but two very proud parents. so, at least 4 out of 5 days i have the (dis)pleasure of hearing all about little johnny's cartwheel, what little bobby said that was oh so funny and just how wonderful both of them are as overall human beings. is it any wonder i can often be found at my desk with headphones on?! being the half decent person i think i am (many would disagree) i figured taking my summer vacation from work would be perfect once it came to be september and all the little rugrats were back at school. also figured i would come out looking like the nice employee who waited to go last to take vacation so that all of the (parent) co-workers could spend time with their little hethens at disney world, the zoo, etc. and to be quiet honest, another reason for my decision was because while i am walking the streets of paris, i was hoping not to see one single rugrat running around.

to a somewhat small surprise, there were still a few rugrats roaming the streets of paris. now i ask, what would possess a parent to haul along with them a screaming 1-year-old who could care less that they are in the lourve? do you honestly think that screaming child is going to appreciate the fact that they are standing in front of the venus di milo? can they possibly comprehend the beauty of the mona lisa? my mouth just about dropped as i watched 2 rugrats climb onto the base of the statue of 'winged victory.' and for what? all so mom, that's right mom, could snap a picture with her digital. i wondered if it was the museum security's falut for allowing this to happen or the stupidity and inconsideration of the parent?

and how could i forget the chunky rugrat on line for the eiffel tower? a little girl who was one in a group of five children accompanied by 3 adults. yes, 3 adults. what a little bully this rugrat was. not only did she punch the other rugrats she was with but when it came time for the line to move forward, this chunky little rugrat had to crawl forward on the rail holding up the entire line behind her. or i should say, the entire line behind her mother who looked on and thought this was adorable. so, is it my fault that as not4nothin passed the child on line my elbow (accidentally) extended out and knocked chunky rugrat's baseball cap off her head? i don't think anything is ever anyone's fault when they intend to do something. ;)

i used to think that it was predominantly american children who were misbehaved, overweight and constantly preoccupied with tv and video games. but, i was proven wrong. children in any country can get under not4nothin's skin. but, is it the children themselves or the parents who raise them? and don't get me wrong. not4nothin was once a little rugrat. however, there is an extreme difference. if i ever tried to get away with half of the things i see rugrats pull in public i would have been beaten to a pulp. and the beating would not have waited until i got home. my a$$ would have been exposed and red for all the world to see. i spoke when spoken to and the last words usually out of my parents mouths when going to a friend's house was, 'and don't forget your pleases and thank yous.' so, when and where has parenting gone wrong? what was the precise day in which children obtained the upper hand over the adults? did i miss that press release?

i have always been a big fan and believer of darwin's theory of 'survival of the fittest.' my, ditch the dead beat parents and fend for yourselves while you still have a chance of being bearable.


Blogger zuke said...

I have a diet zone site/blog. It pretty much covers diet zone related stuff.

7:06 AM  

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